Today, a topic came up in a gathering with friends, and someone said, âmen are very simple, theyâre not emotional.â I couldnât really agree with that because I know men who hold things in, donât show it but are clearly affected. Just because they donât cry, does that mean theyâre emotionless? For example, my boyfriend goes quiet when heâs upset, and sometimes I think he doesnât care. Are men really less emotional, or are we reading them wrong?
I donât think theyâre emotionless; they just donât know how to express most of their feelings. My girlfriend would also act cold after a fight, then later at night sheâd text me saying, âI was actually really hurt.â 
They are not unfeeling.
Some people are really cold, though. Letâs not tie everything to upbringing; there are plenty of men who lack empathy too 
A man who doesnât empathize is different than an emotionless man. Sometimes, women automatically declare the quiet man as guilty. The guy might just not know how to communicate 
As a man, Iâll say we get affected a lot too, but weâve learned that if we share everything, we seem weak. Even a compliment stays in our minds for weeks, just think about it.
The issue here is not whether there is feeling or not, but emotional regulation and the language of expression. If a person withdraws when they are sad, it doesnât mean they donât care; however, if they make not talking the standard in the relationship, it can exhaust the other party.
Iâve noticed that when my partner stays silent, I immediately interpret it as âhe doesnât care about me.â He once said, âI stay quiet because if I speak, Iâll cry.â Maybe Iâm looking at it from the wrong perspective.
Most girls who believe that men are emotionless still get cold when a man cries. Then we wonder why he keeps it all inside.
Sure, but donât make every silent person a deep thinker. Some people simply donât speak and label it as âthatâs just how I am.â
I think you should directly ask your partner, âWhen you stay quiet, I read it as you donât care. Whatâs going on in that moment?â Even if they have feelings, they need to express it in a way youâll understand.
They are throwing it inside.
If it were me, I would have asked clearly instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real point to look at is when they go on the defensive or turn the topic to you while answering 
If I were in that position, I would ask clearly with a straightforward sentence instead of allowing it to grow inside me. But I think the real issue is when they get defensive while answering or turn the topic to you.