I don’t understand one thing: my boyfriend is still liking photos of a girl from before our relationship. I’m not even talking about messaging, but this alone bothers me. Should I talk about this or am I overreacting? Do you think this is normal?
I think you’re absolutely right to feel uncomfortable. Getting likes on social media, especially if it’s from an ex, definitely signals some interest. I went through something similar and just said it directly. You should say it clearly too, so it doesn’t keep spinning around in your head.
Honestly, my girlfriend used to like pictures of her ex too. I thought she had liked those photos before we started dating, but it turned out she was liking them regularly. I directly asked her, ‘What’s the purpose?’ and she hasn’t done it again. I think you should talk to her.
I don’t know, could you be exaggerating a bit? I mean, are you expecting them to completely reset from their past lives? After all, you’re saying ‘no messaging,’ but getting so hung up on likes is also a choice. Maybe you should try to take it a bit easier.
This doesn’t seem like a trust issue on one side, but more about boundaries. In other words, both of you need to ask what behaviors are acceptable in the relationship and which ones might cause problems. When you say this, will they accept it or become defensive? Their reaction is telling.
Let me add this: He had a long relationship with his ex; it’s been a year since they broke up, he says. But still, this situation really stands out to me. I’m not sure if I should tell him directly or maybe ease into it with a softer approach.
You know, I think your ex still somehow exists in your life. People don’t just go around liking someone for no reason. Is it just an old habit, or is there still a connection? I’d say pay a bit more attention. Maybe there’s a message or something; I know from experience.
You say it’s been over for a year, but was this issue of not liking it something that existed before, or did it only start bothering you now? Or did you notice it later on? If the behavior isn’t new, did you perhaps care less about it at the beginning of your relationship?
Speak directly and clearly. But you should ask without being accusatory, saying, ‘I feel uncomfortable with this situation, why are you continuing it?’ If they don’t get defensive, finding a solution will be easier. Of course, also be sure of your own boundaries and know where to draw the line.
I’m sorry, but these things always get complicated because of social media. In the past, when a relationship ended, it just ended. But now, if you don’t cut ties with your ex, what’s the point of starting a new relationship? You can properly say, ‘What you did was wrong,’ but if they still do it, it means there’s a problem.