I noticed that my girlfriend is still following her ex on Instagram. She checks out his stories every now and then, but there are no comments or anything. She told me she doesn’t feel anything for him, but I still felt uncomfortable. What would you do in a situation like this? Should I bring it up or just ignore it?
5 Answers
5So now they’re looking at the story and normalizing this. I think they’re clearly violating boundaries. Consent and trust are fundamental in a partnership; someone who belittles things like this with ‘Is this a problem?’ is either avoiding responsibility or trivializing your discomfort. What’s important here is the behavior, not who the person is.
If I were you, I would just ask directly. Because why would they still stay in touch with the ex? We call this ‘ghost-following’ in our circle. Personally, I don’t like it. If they really say it’s insignificant, why don’t they unfollow? Also ask that 
Actually, I wonder why you were so bothered? After all, you say they aren’t making any comments, maybe they’re following each other out of obligation. I mean, does it make sense to create a crisis and strain your relationship over this right now? 
There may be two conflicting feelings here: a lack of confidence or a sense of being neglected. When your partner says ‘will it be a problem,’ it seems like they are not recognizing your emotional need. My advice is to express yourself calmly and clearly. For example, you could say something like, ‘This is important to me for the following reason: I feel that no boundary was set with your ex.’
Update: Friends, I brought this up yesterday. He said, ‘It’s an old habit, I don’t even realize I’m looking at stories.’ But he hasn’t unfollowed me for now. Do you think it’s really happening without him being aware?