Hey girls, I don’t know if I’m thinking too much, but something’s been bothering me. My boyfriend added my cousin on Instagram, and that made me feel a bit cold towards him. Usually, he’s friendly with everyone, but this feels a bit much for me. Do you think this is normal, or am I just overreacting? Should I just ask him directly, or would he get offended?
6 Answers
6Something similar happened to me too. My ex added my sister and was constantly watching her stories and stuff. I was really bothered by it, so I asked. Turns out, she thought I would be jealous and wanted to get my attention. I think you should just ask directly; otherwise, it just grows in your head.
I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. After all, it’s a situation related to your cousin; they can add each other if they know each other. My partner also adds all their relatives, for example, and doesn’t have any intentions towards anyone. Just try to avoid causing unnecessary issues 
But now we’re calling him cousin. He’s very close and family. That part is a bit sensitive. I think the person you’re dating should know these boundaries. I mean, just because he has a good relationship with everyone doesn’t mean we should excuse every move. Does that mean it’s okay when you give them space?
These kinds of issues are related to the boundaries of intimacy in relationship dynamics. If there is a lack of trust, small things can escalate. It is healthier to express this situation to your partner by saying “it bothers me a little” without blaming them. This way, it can be clarified.
Let me add this: my girlfriend is generally open about these things, meaning she doesn’t hide who she talks to. I haven’t seen any special conversation with my cousin, but I still want to ask why she added her. There’s also a feeling of ‘am I dragging this out too much’
I think there’s something strange about this. Relatives are one thing, and lovers are another. Those boundaries shouldn’t be mixed up. For example, what will happen when you get married? Will you stay in constant contact with your cousin? Honestly, it doesn’t seem right to me.