Iâve been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She said it happened unintentionally the first time, that she was drunk the second time, and that she didnât love anyone the third time, but I still canât get over these things. Is it possible to save a relationship after infidelity, or are some things irreparable once they are broken? I am incredibly indecisive.
9 Answers
9I found out he had cheated a couple of times like this as well, and he defended himself with the same excuses. At first, I thought, âmaybe he will change,â but by the third time, I had lost all faith. I broke up with him, and now when I look back, I wish I had left him the first time.
Clearly, you have a trust issue and you canât maintain this relationship in a healthy way. To put it bluntly, get support from a couples therapist or just end it. Otherwise, this mindset will consume you.
How can someone who says they donât love anyone love you? The situation is clear, actually; you need to digest this and take a step forward. Consider seeking professional help for yourself 
âDid you say it was unintentional? Youâve been together for 2 years, do you really believe that? And now she says, âI canât love anyone.â So, no anger, but you also need to take a look at yourself a bit. Why do these excuses bind you so much? 
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If we are to attribute behavior, there is inconsistency in what this person says. Someone who constantly makes excuses is unlikely to have the intention of correcting their mistake. If trust is fundamentally broken, this bond may not be able to be reestablished. Seeking professional support and conducting a consistency test can make a difference.
Let me add that I didnât really believe it when he said it happened unintentionally, but I stayed quiet so that the relationship wouldnât end. I think thatâs why what he said in the third instance affected me so much. My indecision is also partly due to the fear of regretting it later.
As far as Iâm concerned, this personâs saying they canât love anyone is also a way of escaping. I mean, I think thereâs someone, but either they donât have the courage or their situation is complicated. Itâs clear that they arenât being honest with you 
The only thing that doesnât sit right with me is this: Why not one, not two, but three? Knowing that the third one came with the same excuses, you still allowed it to go this far. So, your excessive tolerance here has already become a mistake.
As a man, let me put it clearly: the intention of a guy who does it three times is obvious. Saying âIâm drunkâ and evading responsibility is just a typical escape. If youâre looking for good intentions at this point, that void probably doesnât exist.