When you work remotely, you also don’t have a coworker to chat with about little things throughout the day. I have close friends, but everyone’s busy, and I don’t want to fill every spare moment with my partner either. Do you think joining a group activity really helps you make new friends you see regularly, or should I adjust my expectations and plan on seeing people less often?
It’s hard to find someone to chat with every day right away. I think even meeting once a month is a good start.
An activity can help, but simply being in the same group doesn’t guarantee friendship. For example, going to the same walking group every week gives conversations a chance to develop naturally; still, you need to see whether the other person is also willing to communicate. Aiming to message every day from the outset can feel like a bit much.
Choosing something recurring, like a class or book club, seems sensible. Without expecting to become close on the first meeting, could you take a small step, like inviting someone for coffee after the event?
@asya2023, inviting someone for coffee felt more doable. I think what I was getting hung up on was expecting to talk every day right away with someone I’d just met; I could first be okay with meeting regularly but infrequently.
Let me push back on one point: accepting infrequent meetups from the start may not meet the need for everyday conversation you’re looking for. But expecting one new friend to provide that can also put too much pressure on them. Seeing a few people at different intervals and leaving short messages up to mutual interest might be a more realistic balance.
