I received a great job offer abroad, with a salary three times that of Turkey, but my girlfriend says, 'if you go, it will end our relationship.' I'm feeling very indecisive; is career more important than a relationship? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I had a similar experience two years ago for a job abroad. We were engaged, but she was very opposed to it. To be honest, if I hadn’t gone at that time, my career would have collapsed. The relationship ended, but I believe I made the right decision. I'm in a much better place now.
I think you need to speak clearly about this. They don’t want you to leave, but you’re also saying you have three times your salary. Sit down and do the math, discuss your future plans. Maybe a solution can be found.
But you also need to think about your partner. After all, they’re saying, "if you go, it'll end our relationship," so you shouldn't be shocked. Have you tried to empathize from their point of view? Maybe you could consider converting the relationship to an open one for a while; that could find a middle ground.
Deciding to go abroad is a difficult process because it requires breaking away from both your connections and your habits. You might try discussing this matter with your partner with the help of a professional, like a couple's therapist. It can help you make a healthier decision.
Let me add this, my lover gave me a very clear ultimatum of 'either me or work.' I truly have no intention of ending my relationship, but this job opportunity feels like it won't come around again.
How many years have you been together? Be honest, was the relationship already a bit shaky or did this proposal shake things up that much?
This might be a bit cliché, but I think you can explain the salary difference to your girlfriend in a sweeter way. For example, you could make a fun suggestion like, 'Look, when I go, I'll cover your plane ticket once a week.' Maybe then she'll soften up.
If a man gave up his career for his boyfriend, he wouldn't be treated like a "love man," would he? It's simply not fair to hinder women's career goals with threats like "the relationship will end."
I can’t say for sure, but I think if your girlfriend is opposing this much, there might be another reason. I would question whether it’s just jealousy, or if there’s something else going on in her life.
