I received a really good job offer from abroad, and honestly, it's a huge opportunity for my career. But my boyfriend isn't open to it at all and doesn't want me to go. I've tried talking to him, but he implies that I'm being selfish. Do you think I should go or should I consider staying to save my relationship?
I think a career is more important. You're still at the beginning of your journey, and it's uncertain if this offer will come around again. Your boyfriend might feel like he’s losing you right now, but I believe he will get used to it in time as long as you’re happy 😳
Did you talk about this issue seriously, like did you go with a clear solution proposal? For example, how can we maintain our relationship, would it work as a long-distance relationship, and so on?
It seems that in such proposals, men are more likely to be overwhelmed by the fear of being abandoned. Not wanting you to go isn't a lack of love; it might be more about feeling like they are losing control. You need to make him feel that you could be together even while abroad.
I don't know, but could there be a reason why your boyfriend doesn't want you to go this much? Maybe it conflicts with his own plans or he has other concerns. Instead of just calling him selfish, I think you should take a look; there might be something else going on.
You've called your boyfriend selfish for no reason, but it seems like you aren't considering his life at all. You've gone and talked, but it turned into "I'm going to build my career, support me." How does he feel? Did you really listen to him?
Actually, this kind of thing is quite common. The idea of a long-distance relationship is not something that both parties can immediately accept. I believe your boyfriend has reacted negatively, but this proposal won't be in vain due to his priorities; it can be properly discussed.
Let me add this: This offer is actually a 1-year project, and after that, it's unclear what will happen. I told my boyfriend that I would return at the end of the project, but he said, 'a lot can change by then.' It makes me a bit sad, to be honest.
I think you should focus on the plan. Go for a year and suggest that you both establish a clear routine during that time. For example, meet on specific dates, continue messaging each other as much as before, etc. Having a plan can save the day.
It's important to stay balanced in such situations. The part where your boyfriend says "a lot will change" is actually a long-term signal of insecurity. If this has been present in your relationship before, it might have become more pronounced with this proposal. If necessary, you can take the issue to a professional or consider couple's therapy.
