I have an amazing opportunity abroad with a good salary for my career, but my girlfriend dismissively said, "Are you going to go there and compete with others?" I'm both sad and angry; it really brought my mood down to get such a reaction when I expected support. Do you think she's reacting this way because she doesn't want to come with me, or does she really see me as inadequate? Should I go or stay?
Honestly, I got really hung up on this dismissive part... When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, you're competing with yourself, right? You've taken on a big job, an entire country, and with that 'competition' remark, it feels like it's invalidating all your efforts. If I were in a situation like that, just not getting a bit of support would completely crush my motivation. Don't keep thinking about that comment; it literally drains your energy.
Now, I'm considering this from another perspective. Perhaps your partner definitely doesn't want you to go, but instead of saying that, they might be turning into a state of contempt or competition within themselves. In other words, it's not really about your inadequacy; it could be about them feeling a bit lost in life or something like that. What if we take this emotional turmoil into account instead of jumping to conclusions about bad intentions?
I suggest looking at it from an independent perspective now. In terms of career planning, overseas experience can create a significant leap, especially in certain sectors. But since you are in a relationship, shared dreams and boundaries come into play as well. The conflict between the two is not a rare situation. In such cases, a clear conversation should determine what everyone actually wants and how much sacrifice they are willing to make. So I think it's not a personal issue, but a matter of compatibility.
I told a few people too, clearly against me going. But even if they say 'I don't support it', I couldn't figure out the reason for this condescending tone. It's either 'the company will use you up' or 'that doesn't suit your job', always bringing me down. That's why I got so hurt. I said I was upset, and then they suddenly changed the topic. I couldn't quite grasp this situation, is everything actually more complicated?
I swear, even my parents said I couldn't go for a master's degree in America, which is why I never went. Then one day I said to myself that no one’s feelings can determine my life. I went, and when I returned, they said, "It's good that you went." Maybe your partner has these complicated feelings, but if your decision is clear, they'll be convinced too. Of course, if they don't want to, that's a different matter, but motivation is important.
