I’m trying to stand on my own two feet, but my family keeps interfering. The salary at my job is good, but they won’t accept me because I have night shifts. My dad literally said, “Either quit your job or you can’t stay in this house.” I’m at a loss about what to do. Do you think it’s right to stay at the job at the cost of conflicting with my family, or should I listen to them?
I had a similar situation, but for me, it wasn’t a night shift; it was a problem working far away. My dad used to say, “It’s not worth the travel expenses to leave home.” But I insisted because I loved it, and over time, they accepted it. I think you should also take a clear stance; otherwise, this situation will just keep going on.
I think your family will soften up when they have to too. Manage for a while without arguing with them, just stay there. Try to make the night shift seem a bit lighter during a conversation opportunity. Maybe they’ll get used to it over time.
But honestly, I don’t think what your family said is completely wrong. There can be challenging environments during the night shift. Especially if you’re a young woman, they might be concerned about you. You’re talking about complete freedom, but sometimes you also need to listen a bit to what the elders say.
Family pressure can really be tough, but it can be considered a real threat when it comes to a situation of ‘either this job or home’. Especially since economic freedom is a fundamental need. Check how the night shift is specified in your employment contract; that might give you some reassurance. You can justify this conversation with your family on a legal basis.
Update: My mom talked a bit softer, but my dad is still insistent. A few neighbors who found out about the night shift have also said something to my mom; I think there’s a bit of neighborhood pressure too. I’m trying to stay here, but it’s tough in this environment.
You say your neighbors are giving your mom a hard time, but to me, the issue here is completely peer pressure. Otherwise, I don’t really think that working at night poses a great danger to your family or anything. Perhaps they’re trying to keep you away from home over some gossip.
Being told ‘either home or work’ because of someone else’s words is a clear violation of your boundaries. You’re not living according to anyone’s neighborhood or what they’ll say. If you don’t defend your freedom, these pressures will continue. Speak openly and show your stance.
I think you should first talk to your mom, since she is a bit softer, and ask for some time by saying, ‘Let me continue for a few more weeks; if something happens, I will also look into it.’ Maybe you can ease your family’s concerns by using any potential issues that might arise during the night shift as an excuse.
I had to quit one of my summer internships because my dad insisted, “You can’t go at this time.” After that, things got complicated, and it was hard for me to regain that trust. If it were now, I would have spoken up more, because in the end, you will need that salary to meet your needs later.