Iāve been thinking about marrying my girlfriend, whom Iāve been with for a while, and I told my mom about it. However, my mom literally yelled, āWhat marriage at your age!ā Now what should I do? I had emotionally prepared for this, but her reaction seriously affected me.
Iāve experienced something similar; my mom would never approve. But I held my ground and was right in the process. I think your mom needs to get used to it over time; otherwise, sheāll always be hung up about it in your life.
How old are you? Itās strange for your mom to shout āyouāre young,ā are you around 18 or something?
@pazardandondum Iām 23 years old. My girlfriend is 25. So weāre not really that young.
@soncaykaldi yeah, but not everyone has the same family, we canāt know how you deal with your mother. Honestly, itās not easy to completely overlook family.
As a family therapist, I can say that your motherās reaction is completely emotional and based on worry. When she says you are young, it actually relates to her thinking that you made this decision hastily. Try to calmly explain how much you have thought about it, so this doesnāt turn into a standoff.
@iki_dakika but not everyone is in a position to talk sensibly. Some families refuse to see themselves as wrong. I think you should stay out of it and just keep going as you know.
getting married is a bit early for you, your mom is right.
This title is quite general, isnāt it? Is your mother reacting like this for the first time? Or has she always been dominant? It would be clearer if understood from those angles.
Whether itās dominant behavior or just an extreme reaction in this case is important. Because if itās always like this, the issue might not be your decision, but rather a fear of losing control. Saying youāre young is just an excuse in that situation.
The final decision is yours, but there is something to consider: Your motherās reaction of saying āyouāre youngā may be related to her concerns about you taking an independent step rather than the marriage itself. Would she have reacted the same way if it were a different decision and not marriage? I suggest you think about this a bit.
A motherās reaction may stem from her fear, but we need to discuss how much it affects your life. Recognize her reaction, fine, but does she draw a line? In other words, can this anger stop you, for example? Thatās the main issue, in my opinion.