My mother is offering special services to the neighborhood

Psychology & Well-Being
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1

I really don’t understand, my mom tells everything to the neighbors. Everything from which university I attended to details about my private life becomes gossip. The last detail about my relationship slipped out of my mouth, and the next day the neighborhood is talking about it. If I show my boundaries, it will lead to a fight, but it’s eating me up inside. What should I do? Does anyone know a situation like this?

6 Answers

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2

My mom was like that too, I had a girlfriend from the dorm in university, and as soon as I told my mom, the whole neighborhood found out. Then I realized that the less I share, the better. I literally learned to open up to no one. Maybe you should try sharing less too? :woman_facepalming:

3

Your mother might be using you as an example in another sense. ‘Look, my daughter went to this university, did this and that,’ and so on. But that doesn’t give her the right to share your personal matters. If you say this clearly, she might slow down a bit. Have you ever tried talking openly like this, saying, ‘Mom, don’t talk about this’?

4

But have you ever thought about why your mom talks about you so much? Maybe she is proud of you, but it feels like she’s doing it in her own way. If you show your line now, she might get really hurt because she doesn’t mean any harm. I think there should be some middle ground :face_exhaling:

5

Privacy issues actually stem from a significant generational gap. For them, gossip is like a simple thing, akin to social media for us. But this doesn’t mean you should normalize what makes you uncomfortable. The boundaries we talk about between mothers and daughters are formed through clear communication. Bring it up directly with sentences like ‘this makes me sad.’

6

I don’t want to hurt anyone, but living together makes some things harder, you know? My mom loves me very much; she’s a woman who would even protect me from my own eyes. The topic came up yesterday, and she said, ‘Who started this rumor?’ trying to come out on top. It seems like it will be difficult to clarify.

7

I think there’s more to this situation than just what your mother has explained. Why is the neighborhood talking so much about that relationship detail you accidentally let slip? Is she announcing this information in places where she’s not around? Or is someone who can’t stand you trying to stir things up? Interesting.