A while ago, I shared a private issue that I needed to discuss with my girlfriend with my mom first. I thought it might give me some perspective and help me feel better. But the other day, I found out that my mom exaggerated the situation and told our neighbors about it. Now I’m freaking out that my girlfriend will somehow hear about it and it will cause a scandal. How could she spread something like this without even thinking? If I get mad at my mom, it will just escalate the situation, and I have no idea how my girlfriend would react if I share it with her. How would you solve this situation?
I experienced something similar. I mentioned a personal event I had at work to my mom, told her not to tell anyone, and a week later all the relatives knew. Honestly, sometimes you can’t trust anyone. I think you should either tell your partner directly or stay silent hoping they won’t find out, because if they learn about it from someone else, it will be even worse.
Has your sister done this kind of thing
@burcucak actually hasn’t done this for the first time, but the others weren’t related to such a special topic. He would mostly say it as if in passing, but this time he explained it quite a bit.
@erdem38 haven’t you ever loaded things on your mom? Here, her mom has literally stuck her nose into her life; I don’t think staying silent is the right thing to do 
This is a situation I see often. Especially older people sometimes share things like this as if they are giving ‘advice’ or seeking support. But the main issue here is boundaries… You should talk to your mother calmly and explain that such private matters should never be spread. Don’t mention this to your partner yet; let’s avoid escalating the situation.
@aylinpsk but wouldn’t it be worse if this somehow gets to your boyfriend’s ears? Wouldn’t it be better to make a clear explanation directly? The one who asks doesn’t stay innocent then.
First, tell your girlfriend honestly. Without exaggerating the situation, say that your mom was a bit careless or something like that. Talk to your mom too, and ask her to be more careful in such matters. I think if you keep both in balance, the problem will be solved.