We got divorced but he still writes to my mom

Law & Rights
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1

I officially divorced my ex, but we’re still discussing the alimony amount. My lawyer suggested a more reasonable figure, but he’s making all sorts of excuses not to accept it. The strange thing is, now he wants to message my mom and discuss the alimony issue with her. My mom can’t handle these things; she’s already been through enough during the divorce process. But I feel caught in the middle. Should I protect my mom in this situation, or should I take him seriously?

8 Answers

8
2

I definitely think you shouldn’t involve your mother in this matter. Your ex is no longer a part of your life, and he has no right to still pass his problems onto your mother. It wouldn’t be fair to make someone who has been worn down during the divorce process experience this. Clearly say, ‘You cannot be an intermediary,’ and cut off the conversation.

3

Is your ex always like this, trying to write to others and figure things out? Or is he just avoiding you right now? :joy:

4

@gizemdertli to be honest, they would try to talk to their family or my side even before the alimony. So they’re generally trying to solve things through others :melting_face:

5

I just have one question, why did you feel like you needed to protect your mother? I mean, isn’t your mother mature enough to say “no” in your place? You can trust her, don’t let yourself be pushed around. This is your issue.

6

In alimony disputes, involving a third party is not very common. Legally, they should defend their rights against you. It would be inappropriate for them to choose a way that involves pressuring the mother, father, or someone else. You can evaluate this situation with your lawyer and, if necessary, warn them to stay away.

7

@semra_77 you say it so easily, but what if her mother is old or sensitive? If I were on the girl’s side, I would be upset. So don’t involve your mother, let whatever your ex says be directed at you.

8

@feride_ not everyone’s mother is the same, of course, but I think the real issue here is that your ex still has no boundaries. It’s very disturbing that he even considers talking to your mother instead of you.

9

I think that guy is trying to get on your nerves. Why would he want to involve your mom for such a simple thing? Just sort it out and resolve it legally. He’s making a big deal out of nothing.