My anxiety is increasing after my first experience, is that normal?

Sexual Health & Privacy
, ,
1

This was my first time being intimate, and honestly, it wasn’t what I expected. I feel bad both physically and psychologically, and I keep wondering if I did something wrong. Is this normal, or should I try to address these feelings? Have you experienced something like this too?

2

I felt really bad the first time too, you know? It’s like there’s something you’ve been waiting for, but that feeling never comes. I think it’s normal; I hear a lot of stories like that, especially for the first times. I wonder if it’s related to what everyone calls “chemistry” or something.

3

I also hit rock bottom psychologically at first. I was in the mindset of “I did something wrong, I fell short,” but then I realized it was more related to expectations. What were you expecting that made you feel so bad? Thinking about that might help you find a solution.

4

I think feeling bad might be related to what you have constructed in your mind. I’m thinking clearly; if you feel bad both physically and psychologically during your first experience, maybe you put too much pressure on those moments? I mean, did you also struggle to connect with the other person?

5

This is actually a common situation. Physical discomfort is often related to inexperience, while the psychological aspect is entirely connected to expectations. If you keep wondering, ‘Is something wrong?’ you might even consider seeking therapy support. Psychologists can be very helpful in this adaptation.

6

I should add that there was no pressure from my partner; on the contrary, they were very understanding. But still, I feel like I can’t put myself in their shoes. I don’t know if my expectations were too high or if I’m exaggerating. The physical pain was minimal, but I hit a wall psychologically.

7

You’ve said the pain was minimal, but let me ask this: at that moment, let’s say you felt bad, did you talk to your partner about those feelings afterwards? Because maybe if you share that and open up your thoughts, you’ll feel lighter.

8

To me, it seems like the main issue here is something you have constructed too much in your mind. Was there perhaps a lack of harmony with your partner? Maybe there’s something about them you don’t even want to admit to yourself.