I went to a job interview today, and while everything was going well, the conversation suddenly turned to whether I was married and if I was considering having kids. I said that I’m newly married but don’t have any plans right now. At the end of the interview, the woman from HR said something like, ‘our pace is a bit intense, long leave processes are challenging for the team.’ I came home and it really got to me. Should I interpret that as them implying they don’t want me because I might get pregnant, or am I just overreacting?
13 Answers
13I think they’ve been very clear about it. The question ‘Are you thinking of having kids?’ is already a bad signal on its own, and then they mentioned the approval process too. If I were in that position, I would say that company won’t bring any good 
Discrimination.
Now everyone is going to get upset, but when someone from the small team is gone for a long time, things really fall apart. From the employer’s perspective, there is planning involved, so don’t read this as purely bad intention.
What kind of logic is this? Then don’t hire anyone who might get married, the man who’s going to the military, or anyone who could get sick. If you’re employing someone, they should also have a life.
I work in HR, and questions about marital status and family planning shouldn’t be asked in a professional interview. If they are asked, they generally serve as a polite packaging of the bias that ‘we can’t get productivity from you.’ If they haven’t stated this in writing, it’s hard to prove, but it’s not a good sign for the company culture.
Let me add this, my CV didn’t mention that I was recently married; they asked when they saw my ring during the conversation. At that moment, I thought it was just casual chat, but then when the topic of leaving came up, my stomach dropped. I wish I could have said, ‘What does this question have to do with work?’
I’m on the woman’s side, but some jobs really do get intense. If there’s a pregnancy, the woman struggles, and the team struggles too. Still, this isn’t the way to ask that.
A society that awaits a woman to give birth then excludes her from the workforce once she does. And then they talk about how ‘women don’t work.’ This is the summary of this system.
If I were you, I would send an email.
I think you should send a thank-you email after the meeting and write, ‘I would like to clarify the travel/overtime/leave expectations required for the position.’ At least you’ll have a record of how they responded. You’ll leave an impression without directly getting into a fight 
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If you know someone from the company, ask them; sometimes these places are already known by name. Companies that engage in mobbing when women become pregnant are known by word of mouth.
It’s funny that some people say employer risk. Is a woman supposed to promise throughout her life that she will never get pregnant just so the boss won’t have to take risks? If you’re starting a business, maternity leave, childbirth, and illness are not costs, but part of employing people.
Instead of waiting here and making guesses, it makes more sense to take note of the duration of the symptoms and consult a specialist. Especially if pain or bleeding persists, forum comments can be more stressful.