Every time I try to talk to my partner about this, they either change the subject or say, ‘nothing will happen to us.’ Honestly, this situation bothers me a lot, but it keeps getting brushed aside. It feels like pressure is being applied; am I overreacting, or is there a serious boundary issue? How do you think I should approach this?
My partner kept saying “nothing will happen,” which was really annoying. But when I spoke openly, it turned out they thought “protection reduces pleasure” or something like that. I asked directly, I said “I won’t take the risk,” and we clarified things. I think you should pursue it too; when you don’t let it go, they take it seriously.
There is actually a serious boundary violation situation here. Not protecting oneself is a choice, but it should be something based on mutual consent. Saying ‘nothing will happen to us’ and exerting pressure does not indicate a healthy relationship dynamic. You must maintain clarity regarding your own boundaries; this situation resembles uncontrolled power abuse.
But I don’t think that if your girlfriend loves you, she would exaggerate this much. Sometimes men are like that… She wouldn’t want anything to happen to you anyway, it’s like you’re being too cautious. After all, not everyone protects themselves this way; people take risks.
Update: I felt a bit strange when so many different comments came in. I was already telling myself, ‘Am I being too picky?’ but I realized that it’s clear I’m not at ease. I don’t think it’s about love; I just want trust. I’ll try to talk again one more time.
If I were in your place, I would think long and hard about it, but traditions and things like that are pointless. If they don’t want to be protected, it’s out of irresponsibility. If there’s a child, they will also come into your life, which is why you need to draw a line. Speaking as if you’re not doing this or saying to the other party ‘open threat’ would have some effect.