I got ready for my cousin’s engagement party; I had been looking for a dress since last week. I found something nice that fits my budget, but during the shopping for the engagement, someone told me, ‘This dress doesn’t fit our concept, look for something else,’ which made the atmosphere tense. Honestly, I can’t afford to buy another dress, and after all, I’m going as a guest. It felt like an unfair intervention. What would you do in my place?
6 Answers
6Well, such things wouldn’t happen in our time. If someone was going to a gathering, they would try to find the best option, and the whole family would help out. Now everyone talks about being individuals, but the sensitivity of togetherness is gone. Your cousin might be a bit right about the concept, after all, it’s her day. But I wish she could have handled it in a nicer way.
What exactly did your cousin say to you, or how did they say it? Did they raise their voice? Maybe you were more hurt because of the tone 
@meraklibirisi No way, he didn’t raise his voice, but he looked me in the eye and said, ‘This dress isn’t suitable for our concept, come on, find something more serious.’ It felt a bit condescending at that moment.
I think you’re being unreasonable. Your cousin made it very clear and straightforward. The engagement concept you mentioned requires a certain formality suitable for the invitation. You can’t just turn everything into a matter of freedom by using the budget as an excuse. Besides, you should have asked at the beginning if it was suitable for the concept!
The real issue here is whether the outfit really fits the concept. If the engagement has a special theme (color code, a certain level of elegance), it would be appropriate for you, as a guest, to act in accordance with that theme. However, your cousin should have discussed this more tactfully. As a middle ground, can you make your dress a bit more suitable for the theme by adding accessories, etc.?
I went through the same thing at my cousin’s henna party. I was going to wear a white dress, but she said, ‘That will clash with the wedding dress.’ I wasn’t upset, to be honest, because I think it’s reasonable to make a little accommodation for the bride’s or fiancée’s preferences on her special day. But since I couldn’t afford to buy a second dress, I combined the dress with a shawl in a different color as a solution, and that was that.