My fiancée wanted to direct my mother to a meeting with a psychologist. The reason is that she constantly worries and creates anxiety, which negatively affects me and so on. But when my mother heard this, she reacted negatively, got upset with my fiancée, and is clearly behaving coldly. This situation seems like it will create tension between us as well. Do you think it’s good for my fiancée to be this involved? Or should family matters be our own business?
I think your fiancé approached it with good intentions, but these things are very slippery ground. Outside interference with the family usually backfires. Were you the one interceding before telling your mom, or did your fiancé step in?
who said that to you, did your fiancé say it directly to your face or did you say it? The tone of the situation really makes a difference.
@iki_dakika I said it, but I tried to soften it. My fiancé expressed directly that it would be good for my mother’s health, and she took it like “Am I crazy?”
I really don’t understand these kinds of guys; when they intervene, they think they’re princes. Is your mom sick, or does it worry you that your fiancé fell for it? It seems like it’s beyond your fiancé’s place.
this situation is actually something that is often seen in family dynamics. the main problem here may be the way the need for therapy is suggested. if family elders are given a vibe of ‘go and fix yourselves’ instead of ‘we are worried about you’, they will find it very hard to accept. a professional perspective is needed.
No way. I will outright refuse.
When I saw the title, I thought, here we go again with the classic “fiancée who”. But then I wondered, does their interference come from valuing health or from being controlling? Are you sure about the reason?
I’ll never forget, there was a similar tension between our family. My dad told my mom to go, which caused a fight. But my dad expressed it so badly. Explain this to your fiancé, these things are always under the responsibility of the previous close person, it’s difficult with someone from the outside.
@camkenari you’ve linked the incident to therapy and all, but the guy being so involved is unhealthy. No one sees something like this being said to their mother as normal.