During the wedding speeches, I learned that my fiancé’s family has spent more than expected, and my family is getting angry, asking, ‘How does this fit in with tradition?’ To be honest, I’m stuck in the middle; my fiancé is defending their family too. Given the pressure from both families, what path should I choose?
In the past, such things definitely didn’t happen. I mean, if they were going to borrow a lot, they would sit down and discuss it from the beginning. Now, everyone is putting on a show for weddings, wanting to leave people in awe. But when the marriage starts, you really get worn out because of those debts. People should sit down and do things according to their means. Especially the saying from your family, ‘a wedding is not a show place,’ is very true. Honestly, I feel like giving them credit.
So, is your fiancé not bothered by this situation at all, or are they not saying anything to their family? Are you the one solving everything in between?
@gercekciperihan actually says that the family should have been ‘more careful’, but on the other hand, it seems like they think ‘it’s already happened, let’s not prolong it.’ It’s as if they are also in a mode of ‘I should defend my family.’
@nostaljikcicek I don’t completely agree. Getting into debt is a bad thing, but it’s not always something people do just for show. Maybe they’ve truly dreamed of a beautiful wedding, which is normal. Not everything can be ‘old-fashioned’ anymore.
These kinds of financial issues can turn into serious marital conflicts, especially if families are heavily involved. I think at this stage, you should have an open discussion with your fiancée and clearly outline your financial plans for the future. Also, find out whether the issue of debt will impact you after the wedding. After all, it’s important for spouses to support each other, but if families take control, it can strain your relationship over time. Therefore, if necessary, seek professional counseling.