My boss always has a hint of sarcasm towards me at the workplace, especially when others are around. For instance, when I’m doing a task and the results are quite good, they say things like, ‘Is this all you could do?’ I feel like if I speak openly, they’ll think I’m exaggerating, but when I stay silent, it normalizes the situation. What do you think I should do? How do you react in such situations?
Things like this really kill a person’s enthusiasm. My old boss was the same way; even when I delivered my work flawlessly, he would say, ‘Couldn’t you have done this better?’ Frankly, it feels like it’s bringing you down. He always seems to be looking for something negative because he’s trying to feel important by criticizing what others do.
When I hear the phrase ‘Is that all you could do?’, it literally makes my hands and feet tremble with anger. As a solution, I would ask them, ‘Did you expect much better?’ You can be sure they wouldn’t say such a thing again without thinking.
I want to ask you something, if you don’t mind: So, what exactly are their expectations when you do your job? I mean, you think you’re doing it in the best way possible, but maybe there are different criteria for them. Have you ever talked about that possibility? Maybe what you call ‘speaking indirectly’ is actually a lack of clear communication.
Is there a ‘feedback culture’ in the company procedures, do you know? For example, one-on-one meetings or written performance evaluations. If such a process exists, it would be more professional to express your concerns there. Otherwise, you can share it directly with HR as well. In relationships with superiors, sincerity is not what matters, but the foundation is important after all.
I forgot to add this: He doesn’t actually say things like that in individual conversations with me. But whenever others are around, he immediately starts with these disdainful remarks. So I think the main issue is the environment, but I’m having a hard time finding a solution.
If you ask me, there might be something else behind this. Maybe they want to show you off to someone, or they’re trying to solidify their own position. They might even be trying to assert “I’m the leader” through you. It’s quite striking that they do this in front of others.
It is unacceptable behavior when someone, especially in the presence of others, says things that create the perception of belittling you, no matter who they are. Being a boss does not give them the right to look down on you like this. If there is a situation that disrupts the balance of effort and reward, it is your responsibility to draw the line. Ignoring this opens the door for further abuse of this power.