I have to face my boss belittling me at work every day. There have been a few times he spoke sarcastically in front of others, and itâs really bothering me. Honestly, I donât know what to do in response; I feel like Iâm afraid of losing my job.
I think there is a situation like mobbing at this workplace.
so why are you silent while doing these? didnât you say anything at all?
@yazipsildim, to be honest, I tried to react a few times in passing, but it only made things worse. Plus, it seems like rumors have come up that you noticed among the team, so Iâm staying neutral.
If you have a team member that you resonate with, strengthen your support first. Then you can clearly ask them why they did it, I think, but be careful. Or focus directly on HR if necessary.
@camkenari bullying, huh? Disdain is an interesting thing; we shouldnât exaggerate things by constantly calling it bullying. Sometimes, itâs just a matter of job distinction. Is there anyone who doesnât have a joking relationship with their boss?
At my old place, there was someone who was constantly making snide remarks, it was unbearable. When I couldnât take it anymore, I left like I was running away, but later I found out that someone had complained to HR. It really worked.
this situation can directly fall under workplace psychological harassment (mobbing) in labor law, but in order to prove it, strong written or audio evidence is needed. I think itâs better to consult a lawyer before applying to HR.
I donât understand this; in what way is he belittling you? Is he just joking or saying serious things?
@benbisorayim is right. If thereâs no evidence, one says âI was misunderstood,â and the other says âI didnât mean that,â and then you end up looking bad.
If theyâre constantly targeting you, the team is likely aware of it; it must be catching someone elseâs attention. Why not try asking a couple of trusted people before going to HR how it looks from the outside? That way, you wonât feel alone, and youâll act more clearly.
You mentioned that âthe team is aware,â but they usually ignore such things anyway. When asked directly, you always get evasive answers like âthey hint at it but donât make it obvious.â Focus on exactly which actions clearly cross a line.
Are there any reflections of what your boss does outside of work? Is he showing an interfering attitude in his own field, or is it just his behavior during the work process that bothers you? Itâs important to separate these.
The main issue is this: has their condescension become an obstacle to your work? Or is it just bothersome, but thereâs always something work-related that can be found? Whatâs critical is how much they have crossed the line. Observe, if you gather the small things, the picture will become clear.
Could it be that they are behaving this way because you havenât met an expectation initially? In other words, is there a situation where theyâre reflecting a disappointment about their work onto you? If youâve spoken with someone who has experienced something similar before, maybe you can identify a pattern.
So does your bossâs dismissive attitude gain weight when you speak or offer an idea? Or does he do it entirely independently? If there is a negative history related to work, is he looking for a concrete reason? Have you noticed this?
How is the patronâs communication with other employees? I mean, is it like this with everyone or have they singled you out? If itâs a general attitude, then thatâs their management style and it shouldnât be taken personally. But if you feel like youâre always the target, then there might be a more specific reason.
If your boss has singled you out for special treatment, itâs usually related to a display of power or ego gratification. But have you ever tried to talk to them clearly to understand why they are behaving that way? What kind of reaction do you think you would get if you asked them directly, âWhat is the reason for the way you are treating me?â
âWhat is the reason for your behavior towards me?â is not something I think should be asked directly like that. If the person already has a dismissive attitude, they will likely become even more defensive. Itâs more reasonable to confront them with concrete examples and expect an explanation related to the specific issue. For instance, asking, âWhat did you mean by what you said in that meeting?â would be a better approach. Donât leave it vague.
When it comes to concrete examples, usually defenses like âyou misunderstoodâ or âthat wasnât my intentionâ come into play. So you expect a clear explanation, but end up with evasive answers that lead to the same outcome. If youâve worked with someone like that, you know that sometimes being straightforward is the only way to go.