Iâm asking because Iâm curious, does watching porn with a partner or spouse feel very strange to you? Iâm not suggesting it should be done all the time, but I wonder if it can sometimes add excitement to the relationship. Honestly, it seems silly to immediately label someone as a âbad woman/bad manâ when they express a desire for this. If I talk to my partner about it, would they get jealous, or would they see it as normal? Do you think this adds color to the relationship, or does it make one feel like a third wheel and ruin the enjoyment?
15 Answers
15It can be done. But itâs only possible if both sides truly want it; if one person is just agreeing to keep their partner from getting upset, that will eventually lead to a fight.
Never.
Youâve made the question very long, but the topic is clearâyouâre curious. I donât think wanting this makes you a bad person; you just need to know what your partnerâs boundaries are.
I get jealous, you know. It really bothers me when someone watches other women/men next to me and then touches me. Donât give me lessons on modernity 
What kind of logic is that? Isnât it a bit excessive to be jealous of the person you see on screen? Then should you break up whenever a romantic scene appears in the movie?
We tried it once, and honestly, it was funny. Neither of us could take the scenes seriously; we just closed it and laughed. It doesnât have the same effect on every couple 
Whatâs important here is not the porn, but the issue of expectations. If you take those things as a real measure of performance, it can damage the relationship; but if it stays within mutual curiosity and consent, it might not be a problem.
Oh, Iâm embarrassed 
Let me add that my partner once said something like, âit would be more comfortable if we watched together.â I just laughed it off at the time, but inside I was curious. I donât know if I would get jealous or not.
I think couples get cold towards each other if they watch it, because people inevitably compare with those there. They even say it can be addictive; once you start, you always want to watch.
Not everyone will become addicted to what they watch; itâs not that straightforward. However, if it constantly creates comparisons, expectations, and pressure, then yes, thatâs problematic. You wonât understand the difference without discussing it.
I say I love watching it and Iâm ending my opinion.
I see this as a lack of respect for the relationship. If the person you love is next to you, why do you feel the need to look at someone else? It doesnât make sense to me.
Well, not everyoneâs relationship dynamic is the same. What seems disrespectful to you might feel like a game to someone else. The real issue is whether itâs about imposing it or wanting it together; I think thatâs where the distinction lies.
If I were in that position, I would ask it directly in a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real point to look at is when they become defensive or try to turn the topic to you while answering. 