The other day while we were discussing, my girlfriend implied that I would look better if I lost weight. This wasnât the first time; sometimes she âjokesâ about my appearance, but it always feels like thereâs a sting behind it. I already have anxiety issues, and these kinds of comments affect me even more. Or am I being overly sensitive? Do you think this is a healthy relationship?
I think your partner is too focused on appearance, so Iâd suggest paying a little attention to that. For some reason, people who make these kinds of jokes and jabs always want you to change. I didnât notice it when I experienced it myself, and my self-confidence was really shattered afterwards.
The same happened to me, they kept saying I was âstuckâ while actually expressing what they really thought. To be frank, these kinds of things accumulate and really wear a person down from the inside.
So when did this joke thing start? Or has it just begun recently? Youâve constantly talked about trying to keep yourself in check; could this be stemming from your anxiety? 
This is no joke; the border crossing is officially disguised as a âjoke.â Are you happy with your appearance? If you are, this place will close down. But as long as you donât set boundaries, the âyou need to changeâ manipulation will continue. Relationships happen on equal ground; no one can be happy with someone who constantly plays you.
But what if your partner says this because they see potential in you? Arenât they the people who change us? Instead of interpreting every word as manipulation, they might be suggesting that you need to reflect on yourself.
Let me give you a little more detail, these are usually things he says while discussing. Normally he seems fine, but when he gets angry, he talks as if to say âmy opinions are clear.â Sometimes I canât tell if heâs joking or not. He also hasnât apologized.
If I had a daughter, Iâd definitely put such a kid in his place! Look, my girl, even when arguing, what kind of tone is this? A person who wants your well-being speaks without breaking anyone. Seriously, be careful, this attitude continues 
Itâs really bad when they say âjust a light jokeâ when theyâre angry and say things that touch your heart. You canât help but think about it for hours, as if that voice keeps going around in your head. Feeling this way in a relationship is definitely not nice
I think you should speak clearly with him. Say, âThese jokes hurt me,â and be direct. If he doesnât understand, maybe you can get support from a professional, like couples therapy or something. If things are still the same, then you shouldnât overthink it.