My girlfriend celebrated her ex-boyfriend's birthday

Psychology & Well-Being
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A few days ago, I noticed that my girlfriend liked a birthday photo of her ex on Instagram. I mean, there should usually be a boundary with past people, right? I didn’t bring it up because I don’t want to be labeled as a jealous person if the topic comes up. But deep down, it’s been bothering me — am I overthinking these things, or do you think this is a boundary violation?

9 Answers

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2

Well, I dated my ex for over 8 years, and we still message each other on a couple of birthdays. But that’s it. No likes, no unnecessary moves. I don’t think this like is innocent at all. It’s like a sign of a bond that has never really broken.

3

I think you shouldn’t get mad at him right away. Generally, guys don’t put such big meanings on things from the past. It’s just a birthday after all; he might have liked it thoughtlessly. But if you’re bothered, you need to talk about it :smiling_face_with_tear:

4

So is this neither the first nor the last incident? For example, have there been other similar issues related to an ex in the past?

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@kahvebitmeden I actually checked, it’s not the first time. They commented on your ex’s story before, and I didn’t say anything then either :face_with_peeking_eye:

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@travmali_eski don’t overload like this. If it’s an old long-term relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that liking a birthday post is a connection. People are now more relaxed about these things :face_with_peeking_eye:

7

I’ve got something to say, this forum keeps circling back to exes. I don’t get why we’re so sensitive about it. I think we should sometimes drift to other topics too.. :roll_eyes:

8

@aklimkaldi if there is no comment on the story, I think this is a case that crosses the line. According to what a relationship therapist said, this generally indicates that there is an unbroken bond with the past. It seems to clearly require open conversation.

9

Don’t let it be a problem. Don’t suffer in silence like this.

10

Didn’t that seem a bit strange to you? They commented on the story, wished a happy birthday, liked the post… When these things pile up, it’s like the “devil’s feather” situation. I wonder if there’s also some encouragement from the ex, or if there might be some interaction going on? I think you should keep this in mind and clarify the question.