I thought everything was fine with my fiancé for a year, and I didn’t think they were the mysterious, game-playing type, but things have felt strange for the last two weeks. They don’t reply to my messages at night, in the morning they say they fell asleep, and when we meet, they always put their phone down face down. The other day, a notification popped up at the café, and when they saw the name, they covered the screen with their hand. When I looked, they said it was an old girlfriend asking about their workplace, but as far as I know, that girl has nothing to do with that job. I want to talk openly about it, but on the other hand, there are only three weeks until the wedding, the venue has been booked, and both families know everything. If nothing comes of this, I’m going to look like a paranoid bride.
If this is how it is even in a relationship, what will happen in marriage?
so, has he ever done something like this before? how was the contact with the ex normally?
@pazardandondum normally wouldn’t talk to an ex, this is the first time I’m noticing something like this.
@camkenari maybe the guy has his own personal issues, it feels like they’re making a big deal out of him placing his phone upside down.
“The same happened to me, my fiancé was cheating on me. He admitted it when I asked directly.”
it might be gaslighting. If you suspect your boundaries are being violated, keep the conversation open, and if necessary, address these dynamics with a therapist.
I put it in the title: she turned the phone upside down, there are three weeks until the wedding. It feels like a joke. I say get to the heart of the communication problem.
I think there’s a problem. Definitely talk to me.
Did you look at his facial expression the moment he twisted the truth? His reaction is important; if he’s hiding something, he usually grins there.
Sometimes flipping the phone over can just be a habit; not everyone is hiding something bad. But since you noticed, did you see any other details? Don’t get stuck on the clue and miss the bigger picture.
With three weeks left until the wedding, everyone is already on edge. Maybe they reacted reflexively, feeling like you were being “too intrusive”. Is communication that tense right now?
Thinking too much about such things can increase with pre-wedding stress. Have they done something similar at other times? Or is it just this incident that caught your attention? If it’s a one-time thing, shouldn’t you let it go a bit more?
It just flipped over, right? Did it go off the screen directly, did it mute the notifications? What it “blocked” is as important as the action itself.
Flipping the phone is one thing, but why do you think someone would do that before a wedding? I mean, apart from hiding it, it could even be to attract attention. If there’s insecurity in your relationship, is this action just an excuse or is there really a problem? Ask yourself first.