I’m new to therapy, and honestly, sometimes it feels like my therapist’s questions push me to go into too much detail. There are things I don’t want to open up about, but when I skip over them, I wonder if I’m “avoiding”. Do you think this is something that should be in therapy, or do I need to learn to set my boundaries? Has anyone else felt this way?
I also had a lot of trouble when I first started. Especially when my mom wanted me to explain something in detail, I felt pretty stressed. But honestly, I told my therapist directly, ‘I don’t feel ready for this part yet.’ Have you tried that?
I think it’s very normal. My therapist kept going back to my childhood too, and I felt the same way. Then when the time came, I opened up anyway. Don’t stress yourself too much, I think you should give it a little time.
But I mean, brother, if you’re going to therapy, is it sensible to dodge the questions? The point of those questions might be to confront you. If they don’t want excessive details, I think you should reflect on yourself a bit. You’re probably avoiding it; your therapist is likely right.
The issue of boundaries in therapy is very important. But this also includes being able to express your own boundaries to your therapist with confidence. It is essential to explain the situation with statements like “I’m not ready for that yet.” If your therapist doesn’t understand you, that already requires a different evaluation.
I need to add that I think my therapist is generally a good person. But sometimes they have a tendency to push too hard on certain events. For example, regarding my friendships, I said, ‘I want to skip that part,’ but it still came back around to that topic. How would you interpret this?
I felt something when I read this, is the therapist a bit too controlling? I mean, if they’re always going back to certain points, they might be misinterpreting your boundaries. Or do they have a different agenda? I think you should focus a little on what you feel outside of therapy.
There is one clear thing here: If there is an area you don’t want to open up about, that space shouldn’t be pressured without your consent. It should be possible to create an environment where you can clearly communicate your boundaries with your therapist. If this is not being provided, it’s not your fault.
Therapy is actually a bit like this; at some point, a person may feel like “why are we talking about this?” But the point is to go through these emotions. Since you’re starting for the first time, you might be feeling confused. I would suggest giving yourself and the process a bit of time.
It’s clear that you’ve thought a lot about the therapist’s questions. Especially when you say, ‘I want to get over my friendship relationships,’ if she’s responding to that, she may be trying to understand you. But that feeling of ‘just let it go already,’ that can really be a tough thing.