My spouse always used to leave the screen of their phone open, and I could see when a message came in, but for the last 3 days, they’ve been placing the screen facing down on the table. When I asked, they said, ‘It just happened that way.’ I didn’t say anything, but it’s eating me up inside. Why could they be doing this? Am I right to be suspicious?
7 Answers
7“It just happened to be this way,” you say, but you feel like you’re being eaten from the inside out. But why are you silent? You’ve got a mistake here too. If you’re this uncomfortable, sit down and talk; while questioning the other person’s behavior, take a look at your own passivity a bit too.
What kind of logic is that? The guy says it just happened that way, and you’re acting like he’s hiding something. Maybe it really did just happen that way? Don’t go looking for deceit and lies everywhere right away.
I’ve been in a similar situation; my spouse kept turning the phone upside down, and I eventually found out they were texting someone else. But of course, not everyone’s situation is the same. Has your partner ever done something like this before? Has there been a trust-breaking incident?
@deneyimli No, this has never happened before. But it would always keep the screen on, so the sudden change raised suspicions 
Taking such a policing approach is exhausting. If there’s a lack of trust, it’s not the behavior but the relationship that needs to be questioned. The phone issue also needs to be considered in terms of trust and personal space.
Portraying a woman as constantly ‘sensitive’ or ‘paranoid’ is wrong. Everyone can question things. In an equal relationship, what causes secrecy is what we really need to think about. 
@feminist I don’t think the issue is about power balance; it’s completely about harmony. Maybe the guy is busy, he has a special project. Sometimes you need to think about these things from an aesthetic perspective. Not everything outside the routine is an alarm.