My manager has some strange approaches towards me in the department I work in. For example, suggestions to "let's talk privately" outside of work, comments like "you look very nice"... I can't really call it harassment, but it's uncomfortable. Do you think I should go directly to HR or should I observe a bit longer?
Experiencing things like this is really stressful for a person. Especially the part about private conversation proposals outside the workplace is quite disturbing. Trying to cross the boundaries of the work environment is really crossing the line. If I were in that situation, I would go straight to HR because observing the situation more often prolongs the process.
I experienced something similar at one point; comments like "you've become very beautiful" clearly disturb a person. Going to HR doesn’t mean you’re making an accusation; you’re just explaining the situation and politely setting boundaries. These kinds of things always create issues in the manager-option-imbalance relationship.
It's not clear: what was the agenda in this "private conversation" proposal? Maybe they want to say something related to work, perhaps they want to have a one-on-one conversation with you to evaluate a situation. Sometimes it can be misunderstood as a direct discomfort, so it's best not to assume without asking.
If there is a disturbing behavior and you don't have the courage to share it openly, I would first recommend writing it down with the date. Such situations provide concrete details for human resources to understand properly. After that, you can meet with HR one-on-one and clearly express your boundaries. It's not a legal matter, of course, but clarity is important.
Yes, you are right. I think that even if there's something related to work, the "let's talk privately" part and the tone seem a bit suspicious to me. By the way, during the last time, they also said something like "let's have coffee this weekend and talk outside of work." I brushed it off directly, but to be honest, it makes me a bit tense.
I think this guy has special intentions regarding you. I mean, suggesting "let's grab a coffee" outside of work is pretty obvious. I assume he has a reputation for such things already. Keep an eye on others in the office; maybe someone else has experienced the same thing 😬
It's very clear: if he does this again, respond gently but directly by saying "I would prefer to keep this out of work" while making eye contact. If he does not respect your boundary, report it in writing to HR. Even if he is superior, this kind of behavior is not tolerated within the company 🙃
I'm sorry, but it's fundamentally wrong for a manager to establish such intimacy with an employee from the start. There is such a thing as workplace etiquette. The manager should act like a manager, and the employee should adjust their distance accordingly. I'm saying this independently of you, but this can be perceived as flirting, and people around may draw the wrong conclusions.
