I received a very nice offer from the company, but I need to move abroad. My partner said, "Don't dream too much, you're really taking the easy way out." I was so hurt by this situation. However, it's an opportunity that will change my life significantly economically. What would you do in this situation? Would you prioritize your relationship or your career?
I experienced something similar... I got an offer from Dubai in 2018, it could have been a turning point in my life. My girlfriend back then said things like, 'If you go, you can't come back, you'll get caught up in your career,' and I lost it. I still went, we didn’t break up, but we really struggled. I would suggest having a solid conversation before you go.
I think you should be direct. Tell your girlfriend nicely, "If I don't do this, I'll regret it for the rest of my life." In other words, be clear that you're hurt by something that will affect you this much financially. If it’s not happening, then move on because job opportunities don't come by easily.
'Are you taking the easy way out?' is that phrase a bit ironic, right? Things that make life easier aren’t bad at all. You've already achieved the tough part, you've gotten on your company's radar. I think if they’re stuck on this, it might be their own lack of confidence, but don’t let that steer you off your path.
It seems like there's more of an issue related to power and support dynamics here. What your partner is saying indicates that they perceive your successful move as a threat. This is often a relational issue. You can share that you feel hurt by being careful with your tone and express what this opportunity means to you.
Let me update you, guys. I brought it up again, and this time they said, 'Pursue your career, but what will happen to our future?' Honestly, I'm still hurt because instead of understanding my suggestion to talk and resolve this, it feels like they're questioning it. My thought hasn't changed, but I'm confused.
From a male perspective, I would say that he is afraid of the relationship faltering after you leave. This "you're taking the easy way out" phrase seems to be a defense mechanism he uses to appear rational. He may not be expressing his feelings accurately, but that fear is definitely there.
The main issue here is that your partner is belittling your decision-making process directly. Diminishing your efforts with a phrase like "you're just taking the easy way out" shows a lack of support. Mutual support is essential in a relationship. Especially in a critical area like your career, if you feel pressured, I suggest reconsidering.
