I have been working at the same company for two years, and last week I received a great offer from a foreign firm, but I need to move. My partner says things like, 'You can't make it there anyway, just stay where you are.' Is this jealousy, or are they really thinking about my well-being? I'm feeling uncertain. What do you think?
I experienced a similar situation too. I received an offer from abroad, and my spouse was initially very against it, saying things like, "You can't do that there." But we sat down and talked openly, and I made her feel that her concerns were important to me. I accepted the job, and I'm glad I did; now she isn't regretting it either. I think you should talk to her as well; maybe you need to understand her fears.
If you think the offer looks good, just accept it directly. Tell your partner openly, 'this is my dream, I expect your support.' If they still talk to you in a way that feels belittling, think about how serious they are before discussing the bigger picture with them.
Negative feedback against such changes can often stem from a person's own insecurities. A non-supportive attitude can disrupt the balance of power in a relationship. You can also talk to a professional career consultant for your self-confidence and career planning, as it will help you look at your situation objectively.
I might look at it a bit differently, but could there be some truth in what your partner is saying? Maybe they really think they won't be able to hold on for long and are trying to protect you. But if that's not the case and they're trying to bring you down, then that's a problem. I think you should weigh and evaluate it carefully.
Thank you for your comments, friends. I also want to add that my partner usually doesn't interfere with my decisions. But this time she said things like 'you can’t speak the language there, how will you communicate with foreigners?' I really don’t understand if she is worried about me.
This attitude of trying to prevent women from moving to different places, this "you can't do it there" mentality, is like trying to draw a line in your life. You can do it or you can't, but no one can tell you that without you trying it yourself. It seems like your partner is limiting you instead of supporting you, so be careful.
Honestly, I don't think the situation is about your partner. I think an opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime. I've got friends who moved abroad and are really happy, and while feeling confused is normal, at the end of the day, if it doesn't work out, you can always come back.
When the topic of feelings comes up, this immediately comes to mind: Being alongside someone who says "you can't understand" even before you pack your bags is quite stressful. Instead of waking up in the morning with excitement, to be internally thinking "why couldn't I have done that" can be quite exhausting psychologically. Maybe you should start a serious conversation with them.
I think the problem is this: has your partner explicitly told you something like, 'I'm afraid of this' or 'I want you to consider this'? Because these confusing things usually stem from unclear communication. They might not want to block you, but they may not have been able to express it properly.
