My family thinks my salary is not enough and won't allow me to get married

Family & Society
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1

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years, everything is fine, but my family keeps bringing up her salary as an issue. They say, ‘She can’t even support her own brother, how will she support you?’ Honestly, this situation wears me out a lot. How right do you think it is to distrust a person just because of their income? How do you think I should convince my family or should I even try?

2

My mom said similar things too, like ‘if she can’t take care of her own shoes, how will she take care of your house?’ and stuff like that. But we got engaged, and then over time, she changed jobs and found a better salary. Maybe your girlfriend will rise up in the future too; your family needs to see that! :face_exhaling:

3

We had the same thing happen, my mother-in-law was initially very critical because of my spouse’s income. But in a marriage, one salary is not enough anyway; if you also work, you can manage together. Discuss this with your family in a calmer manner.

4

Your parents are somewhat right as well. No matter how much love starts a marriage, financial difficulties can create problems along the way. I think the saying ‘He can’t even provide for his brother’ should be taken into consideration. You love him, but you can’t close your eyes to the reality.

5

As a relationship coach, let me say that families usually have these kinds of ‘security’ concerns not because of bad intentions, but to protect their children. It’s important to have an open conversation. Helping them trust their partner and encouraging the partner to express their own plans more clearly is a good first step.

6

Let me add that my girlfriend is already looking to grow her own business; she’s started some small initiatives but hasn’t seen results yet. So she’s not unemployed, but she doesn’t have a steady salary either. My mom is getting even more worried about this. I believe in her potential, but I just can’t explain it to the family.

7

Look, no one has to label your mother’s love with a “salary” tag. You are a grown individual, and you don’t have to shape such a special decision based on the fears of others. Drawing your line with family is not something to be ashamed of.

8

To be honest, it seems strange to me that someone would worry so much about their salary, because everyone might earn less at some point in their life. But on social media, there’s always this talk among girls about “rich boyfriends”; it feels like families have bought into that too.

9

‘My daughter won’t just sit at home when she gets married, do you think that’s all you’ll do?’ My grandmother said this to me exactly. I think you should make it look like you’re doing a calculation for your family, after all, when you’re a couple, the earnings will combine anyway :melting_face: