My family wants to marry me off to a friend of my cousinās. They keep bringing it up, saying things like āHeās very suitable, he has a good salary.ā But I donāt even know him, and Iām not ready for something like that. How can I say no clearly? I donāt want to ruin our relationship, but Iām really feeling overwhelmed.
It happened to me too; my relatives intended to marry me off to my cousin. They kept saying things like āheās a really good guyā, āhe has a decent salaryā, and honestly, it got really annoying. In the end, I just said directly, āIām not in the mindset to think about marriage, things like this stress me out,ā and they actually fell silent. You need to be straightforward; otherwise, they wonāt let it go.
This is what happened: my family was literally āthe perfect in-lawā and they bugged me every day. In the end, I sat down and said, āLook, I donāt want this, I would say no, and that would be the end of it, but Iām going along with it so that we donāt have problems between us.ā This open communication worked, and they never brought it up again.
Thereās this constant phrase āsuitable, good salaryā swirling around in your head, itās maddening. Especially if you know nothing about the person in front of you, the tension rises even more. I get you, I donāt think these feelings can be communicated without words.
But it seems like you werenāt straightforward from the beginning either. If you had said āI donāt want something like thisā until now, maybe they wouldnāt have insisted so much. If you just go along with everything out of fear that your relationship might be ruined, people will always take advantage of you. 
I think you should just speak directly, clearly say āIām not thinking about marriage right now, Iām not ready.ā But it would be better if they understand calmly, without getting angry. Donāt be afraid that it will ruin your relationship; if youāre not happy, everyone else will be unhappy anyway
Itās clear that youāre in an emotional place, and I empathize with you. However, this type of family pressure usually starts with good intentions but can become overwhelming over time. Itās essential to express your discomfort clearly and honestly. If necessary, getting support from a family therapist can be beneficial.
Let me add this, actually the issue may not seem big from the outside, but I am really drowning inside. My cousinās friend has also started messaging me from time to time, and Iām unsure whether to talk to my family or speak directly with the guy. Which would be more effective?
I think your cousin might have talked to his friend too. Is this family arranging these messages or is that kid writing them himself? It looks like something has been planned. While itās not certain, there might be a foundation for this much insistence.