My fiancée and I are trying to decide on a wedding date, but our relatives keep giving their opinions. One doesn’t like the venue, another says we can give gold but that’s too much. Everyone talks as if they’re going to make their own decisions. In the end, my fiancée got fed up and said to me, ‘How are we going to silence these people?’ Is there really anyone who can set their boundaries?
9 Answers
9These things always happen, even at my sister’s wedding everyone had something to say. In the end, my sister just burst out, “I’m making the decisions here, you all go ahead and do whatever you want,” and they shut up. But I wish she had set that tone from the beginning 
Do they interfere too much in giving ideas about the wedding, or do they also affect your fiancé? For example, if someone doesn’t like the venue, does your fiancé also lean towards what they said?
This constant giving of opinions is actually a completely controlling attitude. Most of the time, people try to mask this by saying, “I’m being helpful.” But if you don’t draw the line, it will continue to create pressure on you. Both sides should use clear language, without breaking but also without compromise.
So who really gave these families the authority to meddle in marriages? They complain so much instead of just putting a ring on it. I think if you don’t raise your voice just a little, everyone will keep on going, and you won’t be able to escape this 
But honestly, your fiancé’s comment about “how do we silence them” is a bit strange. Sure, their interference is annoying, but if there weren’t any seriousness, they wouldn’t be so concerned. Perhaps you also didn’t set a clear path from the beginning as an engaged couple without sharing your plans with them.
I didn’t mention this, but my fiancée seemed more relaxed at first, but as things got harder, she feels like she’s really trapped. She actually doesn’t want to upset anyone, but all this intervention is exhausting her too. That’s why I wrote this question to you.
I think it ends a bit in that job engagement. I mean, if he clearly sets a boundary with his own family, the situation will be resolved. You can help, but it seems like he’s looking for someone who intervenes directly in front of them.
I think your fiancé is saying he’s stressed, maybe in the mode of “we’re already dealing with these things, and there’s still time until the wedding.” I was curious if early planning creates a bit of tension 
But now that you’re getting married, you also have to listen to the opinions of the elders in the family. It’s very normal for someone who spends money to get involved, after all, they are making an investment too. Don’t take it too personally.