I’m doing quite well with my boyfriend, but my mom keeps criticizing me about his salary. She keeps saying, ‘In marriage, money is what matters, my daughter.’ Is it really that important? Should I value love or career? Honestly, I’m confused.
5 Answers
5There is a bit of truth in what your mother says, because finances can indeed create issues in marriage. However, if the person you are with doesn’t fixate on their salary and is open to personal growth, I think you should talk to your mother and try to reassure her more.
I think you should talk openly about financial matters with your partner. How do they view saving for the future, side jobs, or developing their career? The answers can ease both you and your mom. First, let’s clarify this fundamental point, and then the rest will be easier 
Are you thinking a bit too easily here? Forget about your mother for a moment, what will you do if your girlfriend asks you for financial support in the future? I think her saying ‘When you come, I’ll find someone suitable for you’ is because she cares about you. I mean, love is great, but we need to be a bit realistic.
Let me add that my partner really values hard work. But right now, she isn’t working in a big place because she’s taking care of her family in her hometown. So I’m not sure if that will change in the future.
The mother’s intention seems to be to protect you, but this approach can turn into a controlling situation. It’s more important to look at your partner’s income situation as well as their spending habits and what emotional contribution they bring to the relationship. You might also consider talking to a couples therapist for sustainable decisions in the long run.