My partner has a good salary, but my mother looks down on their profession. She keeps saying, ‘What do you see in them?’ They make me happy, but it feels like we can’t get married because of my family’s pressure. Is a profession really that important? What do you think I should do?
I’ve been through something similar too. My spouse was a technical draftsman, their salary was good, but my mom kept criticizing, saying it wasn’t even a desk job. I talked openly with her and said, ‘I will live my life.’ That ended it. I think you should be direct with your mom too; there’s no benefit to fear.
Now, here’s the thing: completely seeing the mother as unjust can also lead you astray. The profession is important, you know. In the future, when you have a child, if your salary isn’t enough, you’ll go knocking on your mother’s door first. And she’ll remind you of what she told you that day. I think don’t just evaluate your mother as oppressive; try to understand a bit why she is scared.
These kinds of situations usually stem from differences in expectations. Your mother’s belittling of your partner’s profession might indicate that she desires a different social status for you. But ultimately, marriage is about sustaining a shared life. If there are no economic troubles, the emotional connection becomes more significant.
Let me add that my mom has weirdly wanted him to be a dentist from the beginning. She always says, ‘This is the kind of comfort you’ll see in your own life.’ It’s like she completely turned against him because it isn’t that way.
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