Yesterday, I told my friends that my wife was cleaning the windows, and someone said, âIs there such a man left who does that?â I replied, âWhatâs the big deal? Itâs the glass of the house she lives in.â
Then the conversation suddenly escalated. One person said, âThere are no more gender roles,â while another said, âA man shouldnât be holding a cloth.â In the end, my friend got serious and said, âIâm condemning you; I even prepared some remarks about this.â
My concern is this: why does a man who does housework still seek extra applause or why is he applauded? Isnât it normal? Or am I just getting too worked up about it?
You donât get too angry, but I wouldnât be lying if I said I didnât laugh at the sentence. If she is cleaning the window in her own house, she hasnât earned a medal, she has just gained the right to a cloth.
Iâve been married for 18 years, and in the early years, when my wife washed the dishes, her mother would call and say, âI hope my son doesnât get too tired.â As if doing the dishes was like working in a mine.
This is where what we call invisible labor explodes. When a woman does it for years, itâs a duty; when a man does it once, it becomes a character reference. This is the crux of the debate.
@tersminder we didnât open the file, itâs already sitting open in the middle of the house. When a woman does it, no one sees it, but when a man does it, the spotlight turns on.
In our house, my dad would vacuum, and my mom would handle repairs. Even in the village, some things werenât so rigid; I donât understand why it feels so tense in the city.
When my neighborâs husband washed the balcony, it was talked about in the apartment for two days. The woman washes that same balcony every week, and nobody even mentions her name.
Iâm sharing grocery shopping, the bathroom, and vacuuming. I donât want praise, but Iâve also cut out friends who say, âYouâve become a housewife.â
Iâm quoting the sentence âa cloth doesnât suit a manâs hand.â To that, my response is: does a remote control suit a manâs hand but a cloth doesnât?