Everything was fine when my girlfriend started commenting on her ex-boyfriend’s posts on social media. Comments like “so beautiful” and “you’re so sweet”… Supposedly casual, but I have a suspicion inside. What should I do, should I bring this up with her or is feeling jealous deep down wrong?
This is not normal at all.
my ex-girlfriend used to do this too. Then I noticed they had started talking again. So I don’t think it’s weird for you to be jealous.
So how did you notice these? Did they comment directly in front of you, or were they stalking?
@kahvebitmeden So, should she not be jealous? Even if she doesn’t start talking, these comments are too intimate, I think there’s a problem with someone accepting this.
I came across @yazipsildim on social media, they were using their own account. At first, I didn’t take it seriously, but it happened 1 or 2 more times.
@aklimkaldi Then I think you should ask openly. Just say, ‘What do these comments have to do with it?’ There’s more to magnify within.
In relationships, the traces of the past can exist, but such open interactions can be unhealthy. Clearly ask why there is a need for this, but don’t be accusatory. If these kinds of things disturb you a lot, you need to clarify your own boundaries.
Why is she even following her ex’s account? It all feels like just leaving a door open. Think about why this casualness exists.
Maybe they still haven’t completely finished with the past. Setting aside the comments, if they continue knowing that you notice this, they either don’t care or don’t see the boundaries clearly. You decide which is worse.
What kind of comments are these? Are they emojis, single words, or have they formed a full sentence? Depending on the details, the intention becomes clearer. Even if they just seem “normal,” it’s a bit interesting if they keep going.
Are the comments part of a shared sense of humor with an ex, or are they completely unrelated? I mean, is there something that indicates a special bond, or is it just an ordinary case of “seen it, wrote it”? Because if there is a connection, the issue is deeper.
If they’ve repeated it this much, they have already ceased to be just “written by an ordinary person.” Even saying, “If you want to stay there, I’m focusing on my own path,” is acceptable. If they are still continuing, making it clear that they are uncomfortable, what struggle is this?
You said you encountered this while using the account, but does it show such interest in its own posts as well? Or is this effort just special for the past? The difference outlines the intention.
I think the main issue here is not so much about “why it’s happening,” but rather, why does it seem so normal? Commenting on an ex’s post is one thing, but it’s another matter when they can do it comfortably in your presence. We need to examine what dynamics allow for such ease.
Maybe they’re doing it thoughtlessly, like they can’t realize that something that was normal in the past could be a problem now? But if instead of explaining this, they’re in the “what’s the big deal” mode, then there’s another issue there. Just ask directly, and let a clear answer come out.
If he says, “What’s wrong with this?” take a closer look: Is he as relaxed in his friend circle as well? Is talking about exes and commenting on them seen as normal there? If that’s the case too, then this guy might generally have trouble establishing his boundaries. If it’s just about the past, it could be a more personal issue.
How the ex responds to the comments is also important. Is he/she being open about it, or is there a sense of distance? Because the dynamics of the situation are determined by both parties. Is it just his/her comfort, or is it a mutual exchange?
How your ex responds to comments is just as important as the frequency of these interactions. So, is it just a rare occurrence, or is there a sort of pattern? If there’s a pattern, there may be unresolved old issues.
Think about it this way: Does your ex comment on their posts with the same confidence? Because one-sided comfort is one thing, but mutual energy is another. If there’s hesitation on their side, it’s important to understand why your partner is so relaxed.