We have been living together for two years, but I have a cleaning obsession, and he is completely messy. For example, the other day a cereal box stayed in the kitchen for days. I keep reminding him about it, but he doesnât care at all. What should I do? I need to resolve this situation without cracking.
the same thing happened to me, my ex would leave his clothes in the middle of the house for days. we kept arguing, but in the end, he really didnât change. I think you should decide how much you can tolerate.
So, have you ever tried talking seriously, like saying âthis really affects meâ? Maybe the more you keep reminding them, the less they care.
@kirmizikazak Actually, Iâve been serious a few times, but they brushed it off with an attitude like âThatâs just how I am.â So we keep going back to the same point.
@soncaykaldi yes, but not everyone has to be like your ex. Sometimes people can take things seriously, maybe the approach is wrong.
I think these things should be solved through communication; instead of reminding constantly, sit down and talk seriously once. If necessary, even make a list; like who will do which tasks. The situation shouldnât reach the point of âyou do everything.â
You said at the beginning of the question that youâre obsessed with cleanliness; maybe you should also question your own standards? Could it be that your obsession conflicts with someone whoâs very messy?
you canât live like this, itâs obvious youâre struggling.
Why not share the cleaning duties and have everyone pick up their own mess? When people get this angry, nothing gets fixed anyway.
If he just says âThis is how I amâ and leaves it at that, could it be that he is avoiding responsibility? I mean, if this is his area of laziness, no matter how much you talk, it wonât change. Have you ever thought about setting clearer boundaries?
"If thatâs how you are, fine, but why do you have to keep making others wake up? One would think at least once, you wouldnât want to be a burden to someone else. This has become normalized to be this relaxed.
I think saying âthis is just how I amâ is nothing but laziness. Not having a standard regarding cleanliness causes you to lose control. You can tolerate it to a certain extent, but in the end, order is important too.
If thereâs no common order, everyone acts according to their own thoughts anyway. But those who are all about âthis is how I amâ end up crushing others at some point, without even realizing it. It seems to me that your order is sacrificing his comfort. How long can you endure it this way?