Lately, my communication with my spouse has almost ended. They leave for work in the morning, and in the evening, they either bury themselves in their phone or watch television. I try to talk, but they give short answers. Weâve practically turned into roommates. A few times Iâve asked, âWho are you texting so much?â and they brush it off with, âWork matters,â but I canât shake off this uneasy feeling. Do you think this is just indifference, or could there be something else going on behind the scenes?
I had something similar happen to me as well. My spouse was constantly texting either for work or with friends. Eventually, we talked and established some boundaries, so now we take an hour screen break on weekday evenings. Honestly, it has really helped, and itâs worth trying.
This might be the case; sometimes men try to forget work stress or general fatigue by constantly staring at the screen. Itâs not true for everyone, but if the conversation is really work-related, maybe itâs unnecessary to be so suspicious. I think you should sit down and talk clearly first, and say âIâm not comfortable.â
To be honest, what are you doing all day? Maybe when he gets home, he canât find anything to share with you. In marriage, both sides need to nurture communication. Itâs easy to say that heâs indifferent, but maybe you need to take some new steps to break this routine as well.
Marriage doesnât work this way. You should put the phone aside and learn to spend time with your family. Maybe you could be a bit more authoritative, after all, as a woman in this marriage, you need to establish balance. For instance, you could ask, âHow many hours do you spend looking up from your phone every evening?â
I swear it happened to me, and it didnât end well. My spouse said they were saying âworkâ, but it turned out they were messaging someone else. I donât want to say something like that to you, but donât trust too much in this excuse of work. Just sit down and ask directly; you wonât feel at ease until you find out if there are other things.
Thank you to those who have written this far. I mentioned it again yesterday; this time he showed what was on his phone, but there wasnât much in the messages anyway. He said a bit more about having a âlong shift, busy work.â But I still feel a coldness from time to time; this lack of communication hurts me even more.
I think itâs not unfounded to feel like thereâs still something going on with you. Even if work messages appear, they might have been deleted, for instance; these things are hard to tell. Just ask about every app on the phone, whether thereâs another place where conversations happen besides WhatsApp and so on. Itâs normal for you to feel so uneasy.
Go to marriage counseling; first, you need to resolve communication issues. There are a few therapists in Istanbul, N*** K**** in Kartal is recommended.
The cold feeling that hits as soon as the eve turns is really something that gets under your skin. Especially when you get short answers when you ask something, it feels like youâve just turned into roommates. One day, just sit across from each other and say, âthis situation is draining me,â openly share your feelings.