For the past month, he has been constantly putting his phone on silent and usually doesn’t even take it with him. When I asked him, he said he doesn’t want to be disturbed because of work stress, but honestly, I have this nagging feeling. He wasn’t like this before. Do you think I have a right to be suspicious, or am I just overreacting? How should I bring up the topic?
6 Answers
6Having your phone on silent doesn’t really carry much meaning on its own, but a change in behavior is significant. If this was solely due to work pressure, they would likely have mentioned it to you beforehand and provided some context for such a change. Open communication is the key to alleviating such concerns. You could slowly explain to them why you’re feeling uneasy. If your doubts still persist, this situation may warrant discussing the overall trust dynamics in your relationship with a professional.
I think you might be a little overly suspicious. The workload he mentioned could really be serious. For example, during my work periods, I put my phone on silent because constant notifications disrupt my focus. But of course, if he didn’t do something like that before, the difference might have made you wonder. Maybe he’s going through a stressful period.
So how did they use to use their phone back then? I mean, if it’s very different now that it’s always with them, has there been any other change in between? For example, a promotion at work or a new team or something? Sometimes it can be related to busyness, but it’s hard to understand without talking.
It’s a really bad feeling to think there might be a worm inside. The thought of “Is it going to be like this again today?” really eats you up when you wake up in the morning. Especially if things weren’t so different before, it makes it even harder. If it were me, I would directly say, “This situation makes me uncomfortable, can we talk?” But sometimes the other side can become defensive about such things right away, that part needs careful handling.
Let me add this, we had talked a while ago about the issue he refers to as workload, and there was nothing like that back then. This silent phone thing really started more in the last few weeks. During the day, he’s missing a bunch of calls, and afterward, he acts as if nothing happened. One can’t help but think about it.
As a man, let me say this: work pressures can really get to you, but constantly putting someone on mute and not even taking them along seems a bit strange. Because usually, we mute them and keep them on the side at least to keep track of work. If there’s something else going on, either they’re running away from something in their own head or they genuinely have a personal issue. It’s hard to understand without asking directly.