For the past month, he’s been so absent-minded that it feels like he’s not here even when he’s sitting next to me. He can’t seem to put down his phone, constantly typing something, but he doesn’t even turn to me to chat. When I asked, he says it’s “work-related,” but I don’t feel at ease at all. Do you think I’m justified in my suspicions, or could I be becoming paranoid?
6 Answers
6My spouse was like that for a while too, constantly on their phone with zero conversation. During that time, I straight up said, ‘Show me, what are these work-related things?’ They opened it up, and it was really work messages. But I had thought that something completely different could have come up while they were showing it, I know that feeling. That’s why I suggest you talk openly about it.
Dude, my cousin was in the same situation as you, he was also saying it was work, but it turned out to be something totally different. No offense, of course, but if you’re suspicious, why not try sneakily checking their phone sometime? I mean, I think you’ll figure out what’s what pretty quickly.
But if I asked something like this: You say he’s been distracted and fiddling with his phone for exactly a month, what was he like before that? If he says it was just work, and if the workload has increased, maybe they’ve put too much pressure on him. Have you thought about anything else before jumping to the conclusion that he definitely cheated?
Actually, this kind of constant disregard or escape through the phone generally points to three possibilities: 1. Work or responsibility stress, 2. A need to escape into one’s own private space, 3. The possibility of hiding something. In any case, communication is very important; it shouldn’t be like an interrogation but an effort to speak in a common language.
Let me add this too, he doesn’t leave his phone open anymore. I used to see passwords and stuff that were previously written, but now he’s very careful. The other night he woke up and was writing something, and as soon as I sat up, he immediately closed it. Is it true that business happens at 3 AM?
I think the nighttime event is quite interesting. Normally, these things are always caught at night anyway. But think about this: Were you able to catch who the “work” you mentioned was addressed to, like a name? Did you see any female names or anything? Or did you never wonder if something else might accidentally open?