I'm uncomfortable with her messaging her ex-boyfriend

Body & Self-Confidence
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1

We’ve been together for a long time, but recently I found out that my girlfriend has been messaging her ex. I don’t know if there’s anything going on between them, but this situation really bothers me. What do you think I should do? Maybe they’re just friends, but I have a feeling of unease inside.

2

Friendship is a bit strange. I wouldn’t accept it.

3

I had a similar experience; my partner said they were “only talking for work” with their ex, but it later came out that they were meeting outside of work too. I would suggest asking them to be open about it.

4

So where did you learn this? Did you see the messages or did someone say it?

5

@yazipsildim I saw the messages on your phone, I didn’t say anything directly but he noticed. At that moment, he made an explanation, saying, ‘we need to forget the past.’

6

@aklimkaldi isn’t he the one who should forget the past? Then why is he still talking? It’s a silly defense.

7

if a healthy bond with the past hasn’t been severed, such situations can lead to trust issues in the relationship. clearly express your discomfort, and if necessary, professional help can also be sought.

8

“Forgetting the past” and messaging about it is what kind of logic? It’s a contradictory situation. But the real question is, are there limits in the conversation? Do you know what they are talking about?

9

If you don’t know what they’re talking about, how can you trust the “we’re just friends” line? Maybe the guy still hasn’t moved on, or maybe he has other intentions. I think you should ask directly; if he’s dodging, you’re right to be suspicious.

10

I think the issue is as much about how you feel as it is about what he does. If he notices your discomfort but isn’t taking any steps to change things, how satisfied does that make you? Do you always have to be the one who bends over backwards for things to improve? Consider that.

11

Well, think about it this way: if the person were someone who couldn’t set as many boundaries even if they didn’t have an ex, would you still feel the same way? Is the issue the person or a lack of principles?