It’s been a year since I started university. At first, my roommate was really sweet, but we’ve been having problems with the rent for months. She says she doesn’t pay because she thinks my dad is sending the money, but I have a really hard time managing to gather that money. I don’t know how to explain this to her because if you ask her, she says she’s struggling financially, but isn’t it unfair that all of this is falling on me?
8 Answers
8I experienced the same thing; I often felt breathless when counting money in the mornings. Friendships in university can sometimes be this unpleasant. You really need to speak openly and point out that it’s not your family’s money, but your own that you’re paying.
I’m at university and sometimes things get really blurry when living in the same house. It doesn’t feel like you’ve had a one-on-one conversation with your friend; maybe you’ve actually misunderstood each other. Just say it directly, because these things pile up and later get ugly 
But this topic feels a bit one-sided to me. If your friend’s financial situation is really bad, you might not have taken this into account when you agreed to share the apartment in the first place. In these matters, both parties should be clear from the outset.
Such situations usually arise from a lack of communication. Try creating a shared budget spreadsheet. Let everyone see what they have paid and what they owe. Talking in concrete figures instead of emotional issues can sometimes lead to a balanced solution.
Let me provide a bit more detail since everyone is writing about it. In the beginning, there were really no problems, we got along well. But in the last few months, he has really slacked off; I keep bringing up the rent issue, and he just says, ‘Your dad is already sending it.’ But that money bothers me too; I work hard for it.
The main issue here seems to go beyond open communication; it looks like a power balance. It sounds like your efforts and hard work are being disregarded. They may be in a difficult financial situation, but that doesn’t justify taking advantage of you. Regardless of gender, no one can live off someone else’s back.
So isn’t that girl’s family keeping track of this situation at all? In our time, families used to get involved in these matters. If you’re acting all independent like ‘I’m an adult,’ then you need to know your responsibilities. Otherwise, things turn into a free-for-all.
Let me be honest, there’s definitely another issue here. Normally, no one speaks so casually; when they say your dad is sending you and stuff, it’s as if they’re mentally preparing themselves for something they expect from you. Just think about it 