My roommate, with whom I live, is constantly late with the rent. I want to understand if they’re in a tough situation, but sometimes they say things like ‘I forgot’ and that really annoys me. Should I address it directly to their face, or should I find a more polite way? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I had also moved in with a girl in the dorm, and similarly, the rent delays had started. At first, I warned her with a message, but it didn’t help. One day, I sat down and said, ‘Look, if this continues, I can’t handle this stress; you need to find a solution.’ That’s when she got her act together.
Speak directly, clearly, and calmly. For example, start by saying, ‘Look, the rent is always late, and that really stresses me out.’ If they make excuses, suggest something like, ‘Then let’s come up with a solution, like making a calendar.’
This is a bit of a boundary issue. I mean, even if he says ‘I forgot,’ it’s still his responsibility. The problem isn’t whether he’s in a difficult situation or not; he needs to take on the burden of sharing the same home. If he’s living comfortably, it’s a shame for your efforts.
It might seem a bit harsh, but did you have a clear system set up from the beginning? For example, did you talk about the due date for the rent, how the payment would be made, and all that? If there are no details, honestly, the guy might easily forget it.
It’s important for regularly performed tasks to become habits. You can suggest a bank standing order for the rent payment. Also, make sure that the lease agreement specifies who is responsible legally, as this could be your obligation.
Actually, when we first talked, we were going to set up a system where we would pay the rent together on the same day every month, but he directly said, ‘If you remind me, I’ll do it.’ Now I’m thinking, maybe I should have been stricter from the beginning.
Ah yes, having to talk about the same thing every day is so exhausting. Especially that last day tension of ‘didn’t they sleep’… It would be best if you take a precaution like sending a message to remind them before the payment.
I don’t know, but it seemed silly for him to say something like ‘I forgot’. Maybe he has other issues or is spending money elsewhere. Rent is an important thing; who forgets that… Do you think there could be another reason?
My former roommate always found excuses to delay their rent, and then one month they literally didn’t pay at all. I found out they had accumulated debt. I spoke directly and clearly, saying, ‘First, sort this situation out; otherwise, I’m moving out.’ It worked.