He constantly organizes the areas outside my room and imposes rules on everything. For example, when I skipped the dishwashing order for a day, he seriously acted all moody about it. Sometimes it feels like it’s his house and I’m the guest. Is this normal, or are some people just controlling? Should I talk to him about it or just ignore it?
9 Answers
9I experienced the same thing; my roommate was also fixated on the dishes issue. One day, they even sat me down and scolded me, saying ‘This house doesn’t work this way; you can’t disrupt it.’ I was very uncomfortable, and eventually, I had to speak firmly. Be patient, but set your boundaries clearly.
I think you should sit down and talk openly. Explain calmly that you feel like a guest and that all these rules are bothering you. If you take notes beforehand, you might have a more comfortable conversation. If they don’t understand, it may be necessary to consider more serious solutions.
Sweetheart, if there are things that bother you so much that you can’t share with anyone, it gets tough. If it were up to me, everyone should be comfortable at home. But if you immediately back down when you throw a fit, it only encourages them more. You need to talk about these things upfront, don’t forget 
What kind of logic is this? Do you throw a fit just because I skipped doing the dishes for one day? If your friend is acting like everyone’s mother, you should let her know you’re uncomfortable. What does it even mean to feel like a guest? If I stay there, we can sit down and figure out who’s the guest and who’s the host.
But actually, such people are not overly controlling; they seem to have more trust issues. They think that everything needs to work perfectly because they take ownership of the home too much. Even you having a messy moment for a day feels like the end of the world to them. Try to talk, but in a gentle tone.
Let me add this, friends; these rules aren’t just about cleanliness. For example, she set a rule for me about when we shouldn’t eat in the living room. But whenever she wants, she’s always drinking tea or coffee… As you said, this isn’t something that can be resolved without sitting down and talking.
House-sharing isn’t an easy thing, girl. That’s why people around here don’t really get into these kinds of things. Everyone is used to their own routine, and it’s hard to match up with someone else. My suggestion is to retreat to your room, stay calm, and not obsess over it too much. There’s no need to make it into a big deal.
Can I say something? It seems like you’re not paying attention either. You’re neglecting the dishes, not sticking to your routine, messing up the room, and so on… After a while, it becomes bothersome. Maybe if you took on more responsibility, the relationship would find some balance.
When looking at it like Elif, the detail that seems small here is actually at the center of the issue. If I were you, I wouldn’t make a definitive decision without asking about that detail.