My roommate's family pressure is causing chaos in the common area

Home & Living
1

As two women, we decided to move in together to share rent and live independently from our families. But my roommate’s family still interferes with everything. For example, her mother comes over and constantly rearranges our closet, even questioning my belongings! Should I say something to avoid a big argument? How would you behave in a situation like this?

8 Answers

8
2

I swear I’ve experienced the same thing with my roommate’s family. Their mom would come and nearly take over the entire dinner table! I didn’t say anything once, and then it became a habit. You should talk directly to her mom. Otherwise, it’ll just keep going like this.

3

My roommate and I experienced something similar, but we managed to solve it without insisting too much. My suggestion is this: sit down openly and say, ‘this is our home, we make the rules.’ Otherwise, your mom will constantly approach you like a parent, which can be very frustrating.

4

But now there’s something else. In that mother’s eyes, you seem to be in the mode of ‘two female students cannot live freely.’ If your roommate tolerates this, why are you so bothered by it? The mother may be wrong, but her intentions don’t seem bad.

5

Situations like this actually delve deeply into the issue of family boundaries. It is quite common for some people to still feel under the control of their families after moving out. However, your roommate’s inability to clearly define those boundaries affects you. You need to express these matters with a sincere yet clear conversation.

6

Let me add this: actually, I’m not saying anything to avoid a conflict. But her mother literally went and inspected my clothes all over the place the other day. She asked questions like, ‘Where did you get this?’ It’s getting really personal :woman_facepalming:

7

So how long has it been like this? Was it like this at first or did it increase later? Sometimes if you don’t say stop, it gets out of control, that’s why I asked :slightly_smiling_face:

8

Actually, this might be a bit about habit as well. I think her mother perceives her daughter as someone who “needs to be kept an eye on”. Because you mentioned that she “disrupts the order you live in”. Maybe her mother has a need to control things.

9

There’s something else here for me, I mean your mom’s level of involvement isn’t normal. Could it be that your roommate said something to her? Is she just filling your void? I suggest you be a bit more careful :face_exhaling: