I’ve been very happy with my partner for 2 years, and now we want to get married, but my family is against it because they consider my salary too low. They are literally trying to create a rift between my partner and me. I don’t know what to do, I’m already at the beginning of my career. How can I cope with this pressure?
7 Answers
7My daughter, honestly, a person who thinks about their family also has to consider their salary. Of course, you might be at the beginning of your career now, and your salary may seem low, but marriage requires seriousness. If you were my daughter, we would sit down and have a proper conversation about such a situation. Listen to your family too; they’re not being unreasonable.
So how much do you really understand about your family situation? I mean, they might genuinely think that your salary won’t be enough. Families sometimes want to protect their children financially. Have you ever really sat down and showed them a budget, an expense list, or something like that in a planned way? Maybe they would understand that you are serious better this way.
I think I should speak a bit harshly here, sorry about that. How sensible is it to think about marriage so soon, knowing that your salary is low? I mean, you say you’re still at the beginning of your career; first, fix your salary, get your life in order, then propose. Families sometimes create unnecessary obstacles, but this doesn’t seem logical to me.
If you are experiencing conflict with your family before marriage, finding common ground is important. It is necessary to understand both sides here. The family may believe that financial instability will cause problems. In this case, a calm and planned communication process is required. Pre-marital couple counseling or family mediation could be considered.
I want to point out that my partner and I are not planning to make our wedding overly extravagant. We want to keep it simple and share the costs, but my family seems to be ignoring this situation altogether. They find my salary insufficient and are constantly pressuring me. Even when I show them my plans, they don’t back down.
I think you should take this approach with your family: Prepare a table that shows your income and expenses. Clearly state, “Look, we will manage with this budget this way.” If they are still not convinced, then this issue has already turned into a purely emotional matter, and at that point, you can look for another solution.
It’s strange that families focus too much on salary issues here. Isn’t marriage a relationship built on the effort and equality of two people? Will love or compatibility be disregarded just because one person’s salary is low? The expectation of bearing the financial burden alone is already wrong. Making joint decisions is your right.