I have been married for 5 years, and honestly, sexuality with my spouse has been almost nonexistent for the last year. It started with a stressful work pace, then it became all about excuses like ‘I’m tired,’ and it feels like they’ve completely given up. This situation has started to cool me off too, and it seems like the bond between us is breaking… Do you think this can be fixed, or should we say the relationship is sounding alarm bells? Should we see a specialist?
I’ve experienced something similar; it started with talks about fatigue, just like you mentioned. Then I realized that my spouse and I weren’t even touching anymore. It turned out the issue was anxiety, so we started therapy. It helped; at least we understood the problem. I suggest you give it a try.
I believe a sex therapist is essential in such situations. You should go together with your partner because the cause may not just be you or them. It’s better to talk about it without personalizing it. For the first step, you need to clearly explain the problem to them without avoiding it.
Let me be honest, I feel like you’ve been focusing a lot on your spouse’s excuse here. But don’t you have any responsibility in fixing this situation? Maybe you didn’t try to understand her fatigue or to comfort her. Did you only think about her vulnerability?
Such disruptions in sexuality often arise from communication issues. When partners are not open enough with each other, it can turn into a worsening problem. In such cases, working with a therapist as a couple on communication strategies becomes important.
You’re right, after thinking about it a bit, I realized that I haven’t shared my problems much either. I’ve been focused on why he has become distant. Maybe I didn’t even know where to start the conversation. But I’ve started to seriously consider the therapy thing. Thank you for your advice.