I was doing quite well with my diet, but as my relationship with someone improved, I started going out to eat with them all the time. Iâm not sure if theyâre right, but they say, âYouâre fooling yourself.â Do you think itâs right to bring up food in a flirtation, or should it remain a personal matter?
Thereâs something else here. When I say âyouâre fooling yourself,â it might actually not be about food, but rather about the relationship dynamics. Maybe theyâre trying to establish some unconscious control? Even if they openly say âIâm not concerned about your weight,â it still feels like itâs an issue for them.
Honestly, food is a personal matter, but itâs not something completely closed off to flirting either. For example, if you see this as a problem related to yourself, that inevitably comes into play. It would make sense to consult with a dietitian again and plan together how to manage going out. You can also involve your partner in a constructive way.
This situation actually happens quite often. In relationships, meeting up to eat outside is more common at the beginning, which naturally affects weight gain or dieting. But this doesnât have to be a permanent thing. Maybe youâre overthinking it right now. Besides, they like you just as you are; the real issue is how you feel about yourself.
âI like you this wayâ really got me. My boyfriend said the same thing, but then he added, âbut it would be better if you take care.â Sometimes relationships canât fully express what they think; youâve already said youâre embarrassed. I think you should just be direct and tell him how you feel.
I donât think this guy is saying it with bad intentions, though. When he says âYouâre deceiving yourself,â he expressed it a bit awkwardly, but his real intent might be to comfort you. So it seems like he wants to spend time with you without making a big deal out of it. But if itâs important to you, talk to him properly; he needs to understand.
What kind of logic is this? Saying âI like itâ and then saying âyouâre just fooling yourselfâ is confusing, I think. If they spoke a bit more consistently, you wouldnât stress over it as much. They also need to respect your feelings; it canât just be dismissed like that 
Update: Iâve just realized something; I said I was embarrassed, but Iâm actually a bit angry too. Because this diet thing has meant a lot of effort for me, and now it feels like it doesnât matter at all. Maybe I really didnât explain it well, so I think Iâm going to be more straightforward from now on.
Now, Iâm sorry, but it seems like youâre also letting go of your own control a bit. While youâre saying flirting and eating, it feels like youâre compromising your own decisions. The other personâs fault isnât just choosing the wrong words; you also need to set your boundaries clearly. Your diet is your choice, not theirs.